Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

In Eve, Adam finds a help who is suitable (meet) for him. Her spiritual, emotional and physical makeup differs from his. The Bible calls her Woman. Some have oversimplified this designation by saying that woman is actually womb-man or a man with a womb. This trivialization of feminine beauty serves only to blur the distinction between the genders.

God Himself presented Eve to Adam. In the same way today, the father presents his daughter to her new man. Early in the Bible we see that any marriage can be damaged by a failure to communicate. God does not hesitate to reveal to us that man and woman are different. Man is a natural initiator, woman is a responder, he sees the forest, she sees the trees, he sees the supermarket she sees the dinner, he sees a fridge full of food, she sees pickles, cheese, jam and grapes, he sees the journey and she sees the pathway. This fundamental variation in perspective dominates their union.

To the damaged individual, marriage is little more than the place to find guilt free sex. Feminism at its worst has reduced the woman to sexual predator. She sees her sexuality as a form of power to be used to accomplish her goals. A miserable dichotomy develops as she continues to entertain this thinking. Her sexuality becomes both an instrument of commerce and a magnet for abusers. Her ideology has taught her that men just want to use (abuse) her. Even the married feminist may hold this opinion about her husband. To the feminist, “pregnancy” and “kids” are punishment for the heterosexual women dull witted enough not to avoid entrapment. How can true intimacy coexist with this thinking? Her career becomes her lover; it finances her while using her power. Yet her innate nurturing and creative ability longs for something deeper. A dark picture indeed!

The Love Power Exchange

The mystery of sexuality is built on differences. The marriage ceremony signals that two have become one, it marks the beginning of a new entity. This entity is called a family. In marriage a perfect exchange takes place. The man gives his wife his absolute love. He dedicates himself to the pursuit of that love. Her love-driven domestic instincts flourish. She creates a home, a nest if you will. Her attention to detail works wonders. She lovingly arranges and decorates. The love of, from and for her husband adds to her desire to refine and develop the home. When children arrive she nurtures them with her unique innate ability. Rather than being “pregnant”, this woman expects a baby. She does not produce “kids” she brings children into the world. To her this is not punishment but the greatest joy of all. The love she receives daily from her husband further energizes her.

She has her man’s undying and absolute love, but what does he get in return? He gets her power. This is the nature of submission. In the same way that his love motivates her to improve the quality of the nest, her power energizes him in his pursuit of profit. He works far more diligently because she is in his life. The power she laid down when they became one invigorates him. His love for her and their children forbids him to choose foolishly. Part of his power to lead came from her. The power she gives him is the power to choose on her behalf. Does this disenfranchise her? Is she driven to despair because she has no voice?

Treat Her Like A Queen

On an episode of Frasier, we find Niles, Frasier, Martin, Roz and Daphne talking together. The discussion centers around the topic of pleasing the woman in your life. Frasier and Niles offer their usual inadequate suggestions. Roz and Daphne deride the brothers’ relational ineptitude. The focus changes to Martin. The old man says something like “I will tell you how to take care of a woman”. The boys, both professional psychiatrists, tease him. One of the women encourages him to reveal his secret. His answer? “Treat her like a queen”. The women approved.

As an exchange for the woman’s power she becomes the resident queen. Her input, wisdom and feminine tenderness give her insight into her husband’s world. She seldom fails to see deep into his psyche. He, like their children, needs her tenderness and understanding. She provides for him a place of warmth and solace at the end of his day. He will happily endure days of conflict and stress in the workplace just to hear her voice and see her smile. In this way the perfect circle finds completion.

Al Persohn, Romantic